DIX NUTZ

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

THICK RICK

FOUNDER & CEO

Rick arrived from England as premium breeding stock with papers and the kind of confidence that only comes from being repeatedly selected. His years at stud were productive, though noticeably shorter than the stories he still tells. When demand dropped he blamed the market and started looking for the next angle.

The business showed up by accident. One night his owner left a block of hash next to a can of Mr. Peanut. Rick finished the hash, moved on to the peanuts, and it hit him clean: the category leader had a monocle, stick legs, and no Nutz. Dix was born to fix that.

Rick runs the company on a strict zero-research policy. He has learned that facts only get in the way of an otherwise perfect impulsive decision.

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

FOXY ROXY

PRESIDENT & COO

Roxy wasn’t born with papers. She came up on the streets, where looks might buy a meal but cold calculation kept you breathing. Once she hit the show circuit she moved through it like she already owned the outcome. Best in Show at Westminster was just confirmation.

She doesn’t generate the ideas. She decides which ones are allowed to live. Resistance is rarely punished out loud. She simply makes the problem disappear until no one remembers it was ever there.

At Dix she keeps the distance between big talk and actual results as short as possible. Most dogs never notice the leash until it’s already tight.

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

DISCO DAVE

CHIEF NUTZ OFFICER

Dave came of age during free love, psychedelics, and a general collapse of standards he still considers the high point of civilization. He has spent his entire adult life handling Nutz. He sees no meaningful difference between business and pleasure — both require the same skills and the same heavy breathing.

He learned early that the front door is full of dogs asking permission. Dave has always preferred the back entrance. He took the Chief Nutz Officer title because he was homeless and the offer showed up at the right time. He believes every problem has a solution and remains confident someone else will eventually find it.

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

GROOVY GARY

CHIEF CULTURE OFFICER

Gary’s career ended the night he tried to mount a porcupine and never sought medical attention. The encounter cost him an eye and left him with a permanent limp. He has never treated it as a lesson.

He has no qualifications, no staff, no budget, and no actual responsibilities. Dix keeps him anyway. He measures company culture by how long he can stay at the bar across the street on an open tab. He wanders into closed-door meetings with the calm certainty of a dog who has never been successfully removed from a room. Morale is high. Hygiene is not.

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

GLAM PAM

CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER

Pam spent four years as the face of Kibbles ’n Bits until the contract ended over a creative disagreement with a photographer. She bit him in the Nutz.

She understands figures because she spent most of her career being judged on them. She treats finance the same way she treated modeling: everything is presentation and lighting. There are good quarters, bad quarters, and quarters that just haven’t been shown from the right angle yet.

Accountants keep explaining that “assets” and “bottom line” have specific meanings. Pam continues to use her own.

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

LOOPHOLE LARRY

CHIEF COUNSEL

Larry’s relationship with authority has always been hostile. He was the dog other dogs’ owners crossed the street to avoid, and the one parks eventually stopped pretending to warn.

His legal education peaked the afternoon he mounted a neighbor’s German Shepherd in full view of a children’s Frisbee game. The Shepherd seemed indifferent. The neighbor did not. Larry’s defense was simple: there was no posted signage prohibiting it.

He does not read regulations thoroughly. He skims until he finds the gap, then drives the company straight through it. Rules, in his view, are merely suggestions. He remains the last dog most boards would ever hire as counsel. Dix hired him anyway.

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

COMPLAIN ELAINE

CHIEF DOG OFFICER

Elaine does not motivate. She drains. Every previous environment she entered eventually became quieter, smaller, and more careful. She calls this “raising standards.” Others called it the reason they started leaving early. She has never completed a single positive performance review and sees no reason to start.

Dix gave her the Chief Dog Officer title to satisfy internal DEI requirements. She is under a permanent closed-door policy so the rest of the building doesn’t have to deal with her.

MEET THE DIX BEHIND THE NUTZ

HEAVY HANK

VP, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

Hank does not network. He arrives, occupies space, and waits. Previous clients described the experience as “being slowly crushed by persistence.” He has never lost a negotiation that required standing up or leaving first.

Dix made him VP of Business Development after watching him turn a short introductory meeting into a three-hour occupation that ended with a signed deal and a broken office chair. He does not pitch. He settles. Partners eventually agree just to reclaim the room. Hank considers this relationship-building.